had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
