He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
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why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
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How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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