I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
