Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
