If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
