Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
