Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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