I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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