We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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