Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
