some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
