Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
