idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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