When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize