i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
