he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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