best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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