i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
