i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
there was a trapeze. enough said
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
