For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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