How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Randomize
