Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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