Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
