I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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