yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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