hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
