i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
