New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
