And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize