i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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