this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
COCAINE IS GR8
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
