oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize