I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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