girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
