Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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