Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
