I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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