nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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