i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
