I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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