i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
