If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
