Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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