Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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