Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
