dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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