i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
