Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
