he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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