Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
