did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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