hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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