its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
