you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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