Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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