honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
