You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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