So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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