she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize