i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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