You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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