Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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