You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize