Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
