she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
