She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
