Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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