im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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