She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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