You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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